Updated: Jun 13
If you think domestic abuse only happens to women, think again, the fact is that men do not have the social support and resources to assist them in ushering themselves to safety as women do in the same circumstance.
What’s worse is that the social system surrounding them as well as societal pressure encourages them to shut up and stay put, because “who will believe you anyway!” Men believe that their victimisation will be ridiculed, ignored, and even dismissed. The conclusion these abused men draw from what they are told is: “why bother.” And so, they remain stuck.
It’s hard enough rising above all of these negatives, but then to get the response these abused men receive is unacceptable. I am not talking about the men who pretend to be victims of domestic abuse as a way to cover their own abuse of their partner. I am talking about the real abused men. The men who are systematically abused by their partners and feel they have to remain silent.
Abuse against men happens in any type of relationship, straight or gay.
It’s almost a certainty that you have been told by your abusive partner, that it’s all in your head, so here are some signs that you are an abused man in a toxic, dangerous relationship:
1) Your partner uses verbal, emotional, psychological and/or physical abuse to get their way. It’s their means of establishing and maintaining control in your relationship.
2) Your partner may punish and/or manipulate you and that could also involve threats of separating you from your children.
3) Your partner is extremely jealous of your contact with other people, even when there is no basis for them thinking you are having an affair.
4) Your partner seeks to control your time, attention, and your social life, including demanding to see your phone.
5) Your partner demands that things go their way or no way.
6) Your partner insists that you assume blame for all disagreements in the relationship including their abusive behaviour toward you.
7) Your partner may seek to isolate you from your family and friends.
8) Your partner demands your compassionate understanding of them, yet does not offer any empathy toward you.
If you identify with these tell-tale signs of abused men, seek to align yourself with people who understand how it is to be a man living in an abusive relationship. Though these ties, and with the right support you can free yourself and have a better life.
Support for male domestic abuse is available from the following organisations.
Click on the link.